FOR MEN ONLY!

Calories Burned During Sex REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent ............................................... 12 Calories Without her consent ..................................... 2,187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands ................................................. 8 Calories With one hand .................................................. 12 Calories With your teeth ............................................... 485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection ................................................. 6 Calories Without an erection ..................................... 3,315 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary ......................................................... 12 Calories Lying down ........................................................ 78 Calories Standing up ...................................................... 812 Calories Wheelbarrow ................................................... 216 Calories Doggy Style ..................................................... 326 Calories Italian chandelier ........................................... 2,912 Calories At you kitchen sink watching for relatives....4,722 Calories ORGASMS: Real .................................................................. 112 Calories Fake ............................................................... 1,315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging ........................................... 18 Calories Getting up immediately ........................................ 36 Calories Explaining why you gotout of bed immediately....816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years ......................................................... 36 Calories 30-39 years ......................................................... 80 Calories 40-49 years ....................................................... 124 Calories 50-59 years .................................................... 1,972 Calories 60-69 years ..................................................... 7,916 Calories 70 and over ...................................... Results are still pending DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly ................................................................... 32 Calories In a hurry .............................................................. 98 Calories With her father knocking at the door ............... 5,218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door .............. 13,521 Calories Results may vary...

Right now, as you read this, 60 Million Americans are having SEX! And you're on the computer!!

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George Carnut McDowell

est. 1996